Play is Healing

I have asked that question and heard that reply in a variety of circumstances and my advice in most cases has always been: You have to have ‘that conversation’.

 Not knowing about what’s going on in the family or about your origins can be very difficult for anybody and yet many people still assume that ‘ignorance is bliss’.  I child might not know because he/she has not been told, but he/she can sense and feel that something it’s not quite right.

 How do we tell him, couldn’t you do it? I’m afraid that although I empathize with parents, this is something they must do themselves.  It is part of the deal, essential to the trust between parents and children.  Think how it is always better to hear it first from those you trust instead of strangers.I find that there are three main elements when you need to disclose important information to a child in an age appropriate manner:

• Be reassuring (patience and kindness go a long way)
• Be truthful (don’t make things up, assume or imply)
• Be clear (no long winded explanations-short and simple is better)

Hmm…, this can be a hard one! The child/young person might be referring to a painting, drawing, something they just produced in clay or play dough; or to a toy belonging in the Play room.   In the first instance, he or she has put something of themselves in it and they feel the right to take it.  I can usually explain that of course it belongs to them ‘but’ they won’t be taking it home until we are ready for an ending to our sessions. At this point it is good for them to know that you keep their creations safe (they won’t get lost or given to the ‘wrong’ child) and that they have the final say whether at the end of therapy they want them home, give them away to whomever they want or destroy them.  On the other hand, some young clients find it harder when it comes to not taking with them a particular toy from the Play room: ‘Can I take this home with me? ‘It’s just a marble and you have the rest of them…’ Limits and boundaries are always hard but very important for keeping the child safe.

Some times we might be confronted by this request from one of our clients and we have been made aware that mum has no desire whatsoever to be there!  Sometimes mum might want to be there but emotionally -’there just ain’t enough room for the three of us here just now’-

Have you ever entertained the notion, within your practice, of Parent-Child sessions while still keeping them child centred and Non-directive? They are fascinating but they can also be a mine field!

‘You be me and I be the teacher’; ‘I’m the mum and you are the girl’ ‘Can we play cops and robbers?’ ‘You are the cop but you can never get me.’

Sounds familiar?

I don’t know you, but I  really did not see this one coming!  My young client opened the sesion with this shot and looked at me expectantly.  ‘Sure, it is your time…I wonder what you have in mind.  I could see and feel his serious intent but also some anxiety and for a moment we were both stuck.  ‘It’s ok if you don’t feel like playing…I find that sometimes when I want so say something it helps if I have something in my hand I can fiddle with… ‘  He looked puzled and interested. I got out my mix trinkets basket and put it on the table without saying anything else and sure enough he found something.  A plastic multicolour slinky which I knew he liked the feel of.   He took it and ‘played ‘ with it while talking.

After an assessment you might not get the chance to meet the parents/carers of the child, this would be a great pity since they are the people the child is going back to.  You might not be requiered to do so by your employer o whoever commissioned your intervention, but it would be excellent practice to include it as part of the way you work.

I find it very useful in the process to have contact and feedback sessions with the Parent(s) or Carer’(s) of the child, when this is possible.  It is also reasuring for them to be kept as part of something that is meant to help their child.

It can help you build a better picture of the everyday life of your client. It could also help you answer their questions, give  them information and  guidance about how to support their child while attending Play Therapy. On the other hand it would give you the space to suggest a different type of intervention if  that is what you feel would be most appropriate.