Play is Healing

‘Once upon a time…’ ‘This is the story of how…’ ‘Did anybody tell you…’ ‘I wonder if you know…’ ‘Speaking of…’ I hope all those phrases bring special memories to you, would they bring such feelings to your children or any of the kids you work with?

The art of storytelling is alive and kicking but maybe not as widespread and valued as it once was. Who told you stories? Your grandparents, mum, dad, a special auntie, an older sibling, cousin?  Perhaps in Playgroup, Nursery, Cubs, Girl guides? Maybe as part of your community, faith, summer camp, circle time, etc.?

There are so many elements that add to a storytelling session: the time you take, your audience, props, your voice, the space where you do it (bedtime in a room, around a camp fire, under a tree in the garden, in a quiet circle in your local library, in somebody’s living room, sitting on a parachute or on rugs bunch together in a community centre…) and of course the story you have chosen.

When was the last time you told a story? When was the last time you listened to one? Children and adults from any culture treasure this special art. Why not practice it and nurture it?

This is one of the best loved activities that can be played indoors and outdoors and in any season of the year! All you need is ‘treasure’ (from Pirate Gold coins for me hearties, to marbles hidden in a sandtray for a Play therapist to find) and clues! With a bit of planning you can keep them busy for a good while, and it does not have to be just little ones: you can mix ages, vary clues, maps and different levels of cooperation required to attain the desired end.

So, wherever you might be, make sure that in this season you have what you need before setting those wild and determined treasure hunters out there. As always: clear limits and boundaries, appropriate clothing, age appropriate clues/maps, gauge the level of difficulty when it comes to obstacles, be time aware (not too long…) and enjoy!

I have been away from writing for a fair while, too busy doing with kids and adults of different ages and backgrounds.  I must say that december was quite hectic and the pace is just starting to get even.  

Getting ready for Christmas at work and at home has always been a matter of keeping things moving, while at the same time taking time off to take stock of how far we have gone and how we got there.

Little rituals are very helpful in creating an atmosphere: whether decorating a tree, windows, doors, putting a nativity, lighting candles, wrapping presents, preparing special dishes (tamales, mince pies, etc with a family recipe) and taking time to do things together for the family or for somebody else.

It all goes too quickly, you know, the bit in the middle, the time and feelings that we have been preparing for and that now we remember while we clean, clear and decorate the house, hostel, office, residential home, hospital, etc., all over again so that it looks like nothing has happened.

As I wait for my first young client after Christmas and New Year, I hope most people had the time and opportunity to create good and healing experiences that will stay with them after the last decoration is safely packed way.

Many  play therapists don’t use board games in the Play Room at all and some might occasionally use Educational or specially designed games.  I find that having some mainstream boardgames on offer as part of the choices available can be therapeutic.  It can tell us a lot about the way a child plays: do they know ‘the rules’ of the game? Or do they make them up as they go along? How important is it to win? Do they cheat? Does the child choose a board game because it’s safe and familiar? Can they take turns? How do they cope with time limits and boundaries in general?

It also works the other way around: Is the child using the game to put a distance or building a bridge to involve the therapist and engage him or her in playing? If you have an open mind and are present and aware, many things can come to light while playing. Just make sure it is age appropriate and that you know yourself enough to know what feelings are likely to arise within you. 

There are times when a good pillow or cushion fight is just the thing to disperse excess energy, frustration and restlesness between you and a child/young person; better than any other indoor activity on a cold and wet night. You would be surprised how therapeutic it can be, it is all to do with how you approach it.

Clear the space (make sure there are no ornaments or other objects that might get damaged in the process or cause injury…!),  set simple and clear rules and maybe a time limit (with breaks included considering your stamina) and go for it!

Remember that almost any activity can be therapeutic if you are alert, present and mindful of the participants needs (including yourself!!). Keep an open heart and allow for a way out so that the young person does not lose face. You can always plead for mercy considering: your age, lack of fitness, etc ;o)

Not all children have the good fortune of having the opportunity to spend Halloween with family or friends of their choice. Some children would have spent this time within the care system, in the company of carers, therapists or some other adults and young people they are not related to.  Not all of them have the chance to celebrate with classmates at school or can go ‘guising’ with neighbours, but it is always possible to organise activities that can bring the ’spirit of spookiness and fun’.

Decorating the house, munching tablet, ducking for apples, carving pumkins, preparing witches brew, reading spooky stories at bed time, to name but a few!

I have recently found myself in the situation where I have to move on even when it does not feel the right time to do so.  Well, we have all been there some time…haven’t we?   Whether it has been our decision or we have been put in the situation where we have to end therapy and make an exit (even a temporary unplanned break)  from a child’s life.  How do you handle it? What has worked for you? Has it worked for the child? Their parents?

Any words of consolotion from your supervision?

Many times the simplest thing is the one we overlook! Letting a child/young person know that they are seen and heard is vital. The feelings and nourishment derived from that simple and honest knowledge are quite powerful.

We adults tend to expect children to listen to us but how often do we reciprocate and actually hear what they are saying? Life at the moment is quite frantic and stressful and it is very easy to leave out little gestures, a few words, something to let our children know that we see and hear them as the unique individuals they are.

I never thought that my marbles jar would be as popular as it has been. Neither did I suspect that girls can be fiendishly competitive and ruthless when it comes to playing with marbles; nor that boys could hide them tenderly in the sand for me to find.

I remember playing with marbles when I was a kid, watching boys win each others lot, cheering my brothers when they won and nicking a couple (of their treasured ones..!) because I loved their colours.  Little did I know then that all these years after I would be rekindling the sense of wonder that a bunch of marbles can give.

Big ones, little ones, translucent, coloured; they can become almost anything in the play room: treasure, food, money, sensory devices, a form of communication, something to give and take or something to roll backwards and forwards between two people.

Have you ever asked or better still, have you ever been asked this question as a parent, therapist or a child? It is an invitation that should not be ignored because it has the power of opening many doors.  Some of these doors will give you the privilege of entering and sharing a special space where feelings and thoughts can be expressed.

Don’t over analyse or try to be very directive, just enjoy the opportunity, be open to listen and allow this creative process to facilitate communication.